WRITTEN BY CHERYL WELLS
I wrote last month about how important it is to look at the hard things that require growth and change in our lives. Also, for us as leaders that have to take people there sometimes that we are serving and adding value to with our love and honesty. This is never easy or fun, but it is so needed in authentic relationships that we have. Almost 40 years ago I learned the value of this in my own life. It changed me and it triggered this timeline of events that I can look back at now and be grateful for. At the time, it was devastating and felt like my life and my reputation were ruined forever.
If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9, NIV)
I came to a point that in my spiritual growth and through a series of events that happened as a result of some of my own choices, I was between a rock and a hard place. I had a decision to make, and I am so grateful that God gave me the wisdom and the strength to face those things with honesty and humility. I knew that I needed to go to some people and confess some things that I had done, as well as others that were involved and hurt. I don’t know if you can relate or if you’ve been in a place like this before, or maybe you are right now.
Confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. (James 5:16, NIV)
I knew that being honest was going to hurt a lot of people and that it probably would cause everyone that knew me to lose trust. I didn’t see anything good that could come of it except that I knew I had to be honest and face what I had done. Yes, there was someone else involved in it all and the circumstances were extremely difficult for me because of some abuse that I had gone through since I was a very small child, but I was an adult and I needed to get it out and admit my part. In fact, as I prayed about what to do, I had a sense that I needed to speak the truth and trust God with it all. That I needed to take responsibility for my own actions and not blame anyone else. So that is what I did. I got it all out.
Because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. (James 1:3-4, NIV)
I did go to a couple of people first that loved me and they came alongside and they prayed for me and began to walk through this very difficult time with me, as well as Mike. It was so hard and I had many people that didn’t want – to be my friend anymore, and there was a lot of judgment. It was really hard on our marriage at the time, but it was a turning point for us both. The level of vulnerability and authenticity that I chose began to open up a whole new level of real relationship between us that we had never known. My whole motivation and intent were to make things right with God and with others. The only way for that to happen was for me to come clean, and I chose to do it because of the conviction that I felt. I can tell you that I knew it was so risky for me and I could lose everyone that I loved, but I wanted to obey God and confess and ask forgiveness.
There is a mine for silver and a place where gold is refined… Mortals put an end to the darkness; they search out the farthest recesses for ore in the blackest darkness. (Job 28:1,3, NIV)
As I look back and I have chronicled all the important things that have happened since then, I think I see gold in the fire. Ray Boltz is a Christian artist that wrote a song many years ago that I would listen to called “I Think I See Gold”. It is all about the refining process that happens in our lives when we go through things that are so difficult and we know that it will take time and perseverance to get through it. My life was changed because I asked God to help me face myself and the things that I had done and the lies that I had believed, as well as the fallout because of it. That was the beginning for me in my recovery and my life took a big turn that has brought me so much hope and peace. You can listen to this song by Ray Boltz by following the QR code below.
Then the Almighty will be your gold, the choicest silver for you. Surely then you will find delight in the Almighty and will lift up your face to God. (Job 22:25-26, NIV)
It took so much courage for me to take the steps that I did, but God met me at my point of need. He always has and when I look back, I see the faithfulness of God throughout my life no matter what I had to face. He has changed my heart, and it always starts with being willing to see what I don’t want to and then asking Him to help me get through it on the other side. Breaking cycles of destructive patterns of behavior is hard and painful, but it can be done. I have learned what I need to do and I also am willing to be there for others that need someone alongside.
In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. (1 Peter 1:6-7, NIV)
