WRITTEN BY CHERYL WELLS
I love ending the year with gratefulness in my heart and on my mind. I want to encourage you to do that too. That doesn’t mean that my year has been easy, because it hasn’t been. But it does mean that so much living has happened and there has been much to lean into with trust and courage. For any of us when we are made aware of opportunity to change and grow, there is hope and His name is Jesus. I have continued to land on a thought about Jesus and that He is my Anchor. The Bible says that He is a nail in a sure place. He holds us together and gives us stability and safety in the midst of the chaos. That just makes me take a deep breath…
We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure…
Hebrews 6:19
Whatever our chaos is, we can rise above it by choosing to trust God in the midst of it. It might not go away, but that is the beauty of living one day at a time surrendering and waiting for the peace to come. I shared last time about how I had to come out of denial and accept the truth about dysfunction in my own life that I had blamed on everyone else around me for so long. I had to know and act on that truth by asking for help. I realized that the things that were continuing to eat away at me and cause me fear and anxiety could only be stopped when I chose to live above it. Practically speaking that means that I would not keep doing the dance with the idea that I could stop it or control it. That simply could be what I let stay in my mind and my seeming ability to figure out. That was the lie and the crazy. I can’t manage any of it and my desire and thinking that if I do something then someone else will stop what they’re doing, was and is crazy. That’s the part that leads to unhealthy relationships that starts with me. I’m the reason that I struggle with people and situations. Can I admit that to myself and others?
I said earlier that I learned that I could live above it. I can by humbling myself and doing the hard work of looking at myself and inviting Jesus into the mess with me. That’s when He rushes in. It has gone so much better for me this year when I face the situations that come up with determination to do what is mine to do and set the boundaries with others when necessary. I also have come to love the serenity prayer that says:
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
There are many things that I have faced this year that I can’t change, and that has been hard but good to know. In each situation I have asked and waited for the wisdom to know which it is. I am so thankful for the lessons in all of this that have brought me peace. I would say that the main thing that is different for me is that I have an awareness now of how I would hold my breath in stressful times and frantically think about what I need to do to make things better – which is a picture really of how I think I have to carry things and be responsible to figure out how to fix or change it. I know that is unhealthy now and I stop and ask Jesus to anchor me and help me know what I need. I’m going to be honest, when asked that question the first couple of times, I didn’t know the answer. What do I need?
When there have been so many things since I was a child that were out of sorts and backwards (funny) it just has taken on this sense of normalcy that it is my job to solve things around me. Even if it’s not my own situation, but it might be anyone close to me. The truth is that I have enough to do with taking care of myself. I need to take care of what is on my side of the fence and let the other person make their own decisions and cut their own grass. More than anything it comes back to my willingness to trust God and keep my hands off.
That’s a lot to be grateful for. It is a lot to let go of and let God take it. It’s been a good year.
