For the most part, life was great on September 26, 2005. I was working at a job I absolutely loved. Jack, one of my best friends, was my employer. I was going to celebrate my ten-year anniversary with the company in October. I looked forward to going into work every single day. Even though things with my job and family seemed to be running smooth, inside I knew something wasn’t right. In regards to my spiritual life I was talking the talk, but not necessarily walking the walk. I had finally had enough! I was sick of being lukewarm. On September 26, 2005 I prayed and asked God to make my family and me wholly dependent on Him. That’s where the journey started.
On Thursday, October 13 Jack closed our office door and sat down next to me. Financially, the business was struggling and my salary had become an extreme burden to the business. One week before my ten-year anniversary I was laid off. What Jack didn’t know is that he was actually working for our Heavenly Father in answering the prayer I had prayed two weeks earlier.
Boom. Wholly dependent.
At this time Michigan’s economy was terrible. I couldn’t find a job for months. A local coffee shop had closed its doors because the owners wanted to spend more time with their family. I knew and loved coffee and when Sheila and I were dating we discovered that we both had wanted to own a coffee shop. And since I had (almost) ten years managing an espresso bar, Sheila and I bought it from the owners and made it our own. Unfortunately, owning our own business took its toll. Even while working many months from open to close, we still couldn’t pay all the bills, let alone draw a salary. After a year and a half, we had to close the store.
Still wholly dependent.
After a year and a half of jobs that couldn’t make ends meet, we had no choice but to sell our home before it was foreclosed. Without a steady job, there was no way to secure housing for our family.
Still wholly dependent.
Sheila’s parents offered to let us stay with them. We packed up the moving trucks and moved in with them. We uprooted our family and moved three and a half hours northeast of where we were living in a tiny vacation town in northern Michigan. Surprisingly, I was able to find a full-time job within a week of moving. The job was terrible, but it was a job. I dreaded going into work every day. One day I had a particularly horrific day. On the drive home from work I was yelling at God at the top of my lungs. I was asking him why my family was in this situation. When I got home that night I spent a good amount of time talking to God while walking the shore of Lake Huron. The next morning I called my friend Jack and thanked him for ten incredible years of a job that I loved going to. I thanked him for his friendship. The very next day Jack called me and told me he had a lead on a job for me. A client of his was opening a coffee shop in Le Mars, Iowa and they were looking for a manager.
I am ecstatic to say that we have been happy residents of the great state of Iowa for over three years. Things are going incredibly well. God has blessed our family more than I could ever describe. We have been blessed with amazing friendships. Our kids are blossoming. We both are employed and absolutely love where God has placed us. I don’t drive home yelling at God. Rather, I’m often singing songs of praise.
I’m still wholly dependent.
Still wholly dependent? Absolutely. Just because life seems to be going well doesn’t mean I’m not dependent on God. Our dependence on God is a daily handing over of our needs, wants and desires to Him and trusting Him with them. In our daily lives it’s so easy to trust and depend on our jobs, doctors, advanced technology, our government and even those we love. Ultimately, those things will fail us.
Isaiah 26:3 says “You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.” The word trust comes from the Hebrew word batach. It could be translated to “be secure”. The word trust is hard for us to comprehend sometimes. As mentioned before, many things we place our trust in fail. But the author of Isaiah is showing us that it’s more than a trust. We’re secure. We’re safe. Knowing that, it could be read as “God keeps in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast because they are secure in You.” Are there days when the tornadoes of life still seem out of control? Absolutely. But for those who securely trust in our Savior there is a dominant calm, an inner-stability that overrides the days filled with chaos.
When we moved to Iowa I related it to the story in Matthew 14 of Peter when (in faith) he stepped out of the boat and onto the water. In verse 29 it says that Peter walked on the water toward Jesus. That’s so cool! Peter walked on top of the water and didn’t sink! Peter had faith when Jesus said, “Come”. But, when he took his eyes off of our Savior, he began to sink. He was dependent wholly on God that he wouldn’t drown in the Sea of Galilee. In the same manner, wholly trusting and depending on God, we loaded up the truck and moved to Ice Cream City. I shared this analogy with one of my best friends and he blessed me with a carving of a wooden boat he bought on a missions trip to Africa. It now sits in my office as a daily reminder of my daily dependence on God.
Heavenly Father, I pray that as your children we would keep our focus, our dependence on you. I pray that we not place our dependence in money, false idols or our own personal strength. Rather Lord, may we see you as the Provider of every breath we take, every morsel on our plate, of every good thing. May we depend more and more on You, the Author and Perfector of our faith.
