WRITTEN BY CHERYL WELLS
I have been thinking about what it means to pour out my heart to the Lord and how that is helpful to me. I read something lately about Psalm 62:8 that says “trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before Him. God is a refuge for us.” I love how the Lord uses things to teach me really important principles. The things that are life lessons that I know that I will be sharing for years to come. Even as I say that one of the stories that I have shared a lot comes to mind. It was 18 years ago that this happened and it’s like it was just yesterday because it was so powerful and so real to me.
My oldest daughter Tiffany had gotten married to a Floridian and they lived in Ft. Myers. She was pregnant with our first grandchild, and we had just gone to Ft. Myers to be there when the baby was born. It was such a beautiful experience to be there in the delivery room when she had our granddaughter Peyton. I have a really weak stomach, and I faint at the sight of blood, as well as I really struggle with watching those I love being in pain. But for some reason we thought this would be a good thing, and I’m so glad that I was there. The doctor said, “grandma, you’ve got to come see this” and so I did, and it was amazing. Peyton grabbed my little pinkie finger, and I was instantly in love. Peyton now lives in Le Mars, and she is getting ready to graduate from high school, and she is the sweetest young woman that loves so well and her heart shows in everything she does. Peyton works for me at Habitué and as a senior in high school she opens and closes the store as a leader, and she also now leads a whole team to serve our guests on a busy Saturday. She leads with confidence and humility, as well as excellence and accountability. She has learned well from the people that God has put around her through the years, including her parents.
Back to when she was born in Florida, I had just gotten home from her birth, and I was pretty upset about the fact that they lived in Florida, and I live in Iowa. I was home about 2 days, and I was feeling very sad, and it was a quiet morning at home by myself when I began to cry uncontrollably. I went in my office/library upstairs and climbed up in a big chair and began to pour out my heart to God about how hard it was thinking about not seeing my granddaughter. I knew that they would have more children too and that it was going to be an ongoing thing for me. In the middle of my tears and sobs I heard God speak to me very clearly in my head. He said, “give me that and trust Me, and I will take care of you.” Well, I certainly knew what He meant by “that”, and all of a sudden, I stopped crying and felt very comforted. Like it just left me, and I knew that He had promised me something, and I had total peace. I never had that fear or upset again, and I felt so sure that He had spoken to me and that He would do it.
God kept His word to me and over time I was able to see Peyton about every 6 weeks or so, whether they came to Iowa, or I went there. Tiffany did have several babies (3) while they lived there in a very short time, and I was able to be the traveling grandma who would come and stay when needed or wanted. The rest of the story is that out of nowhere one day they called us and told us that they were moving to Iowa and ten years ago they did. I never thought any of my kids would move back home to our little town, but my two oldest children both did, and I have ten grandchildren that live right in Le Mars. It was so crazy to me when I would be driving down the street at home and all of a sudden, I would see one or more of them walking to school or walking downtown, and I would just instantly cry tears of joy. God has been so good to me, and I am just thankful. He was so good to me that day in my room when He spoke to my heart and He has taken care of me, over and over.
I’m just so much more aware now of what happened that day in me, and what transpired between the Holy Spirit and myself. I connected the dots with the truth of the word many times and His promises that have been my reality since then. When I read that truth just lately from Psalms 62:8 about pouring out my heart before Him it really grabbed me, and I kept meditating on it and asking what I needed to know. I was sure that God was getting my attention about how my part of pouring out my heart was key, and that in doing it there was a connection that was made that came from Him alone. It’s like God is saying that He wants us to come to Him as a little child and give Him what is so heavy on our heart and exchange it for His truth of safety and security, knowing that we are not to carry it alone and that our loving daddy has got us. But we have to be willing to come in full trust of His love and care.
There are certainly things on my heart that I need to give Him now too. I know that God is prompting and calling me to bring it all to Him. I’m going to do that. I’m going to bring Him the ache that is starting as I think about Peyton graduating and moving away to college, also as I think about her mom releasing her and how painful that it will be for her. I am also watching and listening to Peyton as she thinks about moving and not being around her family and I know that is already on her mind. I can pour out my heart for myself, and also for all those that I love that are going through really difficult things. I know that His promise will come true for me again, and that I can trade the pain for His shelter of love and safety. Psalm 30 talks about turning our mourning into dancing and clothing us with gladness. All these things will happen as we choose to pour out our hearts to the Lord in prayer, trusting Him for the answers that He will bring in His perfect timing and will. Not my will, but Thy will be done. He sees and knows all things, and He is my refuge.
