WRITTEN BY CHERYL WELLS
I feel so blessed because of special times that we have had with specific groups in our family lately. At our age we can look back and remember times where we just didn’t have the bandwidth to travel and be with family like we wanted to. With the pressures of the family business through the years and then when we started our non-profit exactly 23 years ago today, as well as Habitue’ 15 ½ years ago, our plates were full and spinning. In the midst of all that, we both learned a lot about intentionality and having a plan. I love entertaining and hospitality, as well as I just love people. Mike is the one who studies the calendar and looks at the whole year and all the stuff going on to logistically plan. He’s also the one to pack the car or whatever is needed for organization. However, I wouldn’t ask him how much food we need or how long something should last. He’s great with set-up for a dinner or event, and he loves doing dishes but sometimes wants to clean up too quickly and I like to let people visit. We are a great combination, and we respect each other’s ideas and gifts. Mike has a servant’s heart, and I have seen that play out so much lately.
We began about ten years ago taking all of our grandchildren on a trip with us without their parents. Through the years we have had so much fun with them each summer planning a trip to different places that we thought they would enjoy. For a lot of the years, we had so many kids that we took along a helper, that continued many years with the same dear friend. It was helpful that she knew them well, and they knew her and loved her. She planned the meals and did most of the cooking, as well as she planned the snacks! We laugh about all of those things still. Thanks so much Lauren! It was helpful also that she is quite a bit younger than we are. I think the most that we had at one time was eight children, but we always go for like 5-6 days. She would trek from Florida to Iowa each time and come a few days early to get groceries and prep what was needed and then stayed a few days after to help me unload and clean things up. She also took wonderful pictures that we will cherish forever. The memories are so special of all those trips and things that happened while we were all together are stories that we continue to talk and laugh about. So many stories that we can continue to tell and remember with the grandchildren, and even that we can tell their parents and someday our great-grandchildren to come. Telling those stories is so good and whether the story is happy or sad, it brings a connection that they can begin to know enough to understand and really know that person at a deeper level. Telling experiences firsthand that connect with what was going on emotionally is something that is very vulnerable, but it connects us intimately with one another.
We are in Grand camp season right now, and we still have two more to go this summer. As the number of kids continued to grow and they got older, it got more complicated. When they were younger, we would take one trip with everyone and they all enjoyed going to the Black Hills and the Wisconsin Dells, as well as they all loved to just go to the lake for a week. As they got into Junior high and High school it became evident that we needed to split up girls and boys and at their ages, they just had different things that they liked to do. Also, we didn’t want the older siblings to feel like they had to take care of the younger ones. They can come to camp if they are age 4-5, depending on the child, and we do a special trip when they graduate. We have a lot of boys the same age group, as well as girls that are siblings and cousins and they love spending time together. In early June we took three granddaughters on a graduation celebration trip. One is not graduated yet, but she is close in age to the other two, so she got a bonus trip.
Mike and I ended up doing lots of things on the trip that we wouldn’t have, but they chose what we did, and we wanted to spend the time together. They held stingrays and swam with pigs, as well as we took a rafting trip down a river in Jamaica. I was the one that ended up with a huge spider (or a crab) climbing up my leg in the raft. I have a huge fear of bugs and spiders, so that became a thing for everyone in our raft. The guide didn’t care, but I wasn’t about to stay in that raft when I didn’t know where he went. Gives me the willies right now just thinking about it again! The girls had a good laugh! Laughing together and crying together in the middle of our experiences is so special and heartwarming. Knowing each one of them so well, I knew when there might be a hesitancy to want to do something because of a fear or maybe a past incident that caused that fear. I would know not to push or say anything but to pray and believe that they might step into it as they were wanting to get everything they could during those few days that we were together in a place that they might not ever be again. I watched that happen on this trip and it created some uncomfortable moments at times, much like me in that raft. They faced some fears, and they tried some things that they were sure they weren’t going to like. Even grandpa got stretched a bit. We will be traveling again in a few weeks with a couple of younger granddaughters to the Black Hills for a week, and I can’t wait. The relationship building time is so sweet and we will be very intentional with our days and hours. In August we will also take three high school grandsons to San Diego for a week, and I will be praying about some good conversation starters, as well as good stories to share about our own lives.
A few months ago, we went on a trip of a lifetime with our son Matt and his husband Nic, as well as Nic’s parents. We love the Ballecer’s, and we have spent time with them over the years, mostly in California, where Nic was raised. Matt and Nic live in San Diego, and they have been married for three years. They are both the youngest in their family and they are very emotionally connected to their family members, as well as they are very purposeful in those relationships. They had been wanting to spend some time traveling with us all together, and they love to travel and know all the good places to go. Nic is a travel agent, and he is a foodie, so when you are with him you know, you are going to eat well. He hit it out of the park on this trip to Athens, Greece. Our resort was so beautiful and Nic planned the itinerary so that we knew all we had to do was follow the plan. He kept the fact that he was traveling with both sets of parents in mind as he chose our schedule, and we had a balance of days of exploring and days open for rest and choosing our own agenda as couples. Along the way I also realized that the boys were being very intentional about hearing our stories and connecting vulnerably. How beautiful that they were desiring to hear our hearts and wanted to understand more about us. Everyone opened up during our days there and some really beautiful things happened. We got even closer to Teri and Fred, and Nicolas and Matthew learned things about their parents. They were holy moments, and we left there desiring more; more connection and honesty with one another. The relationships went to another level as we heard about some tough times that had never been shared ever before. I love each one of them even more. We also decided that we will take another trip together, and it will be in 2027. I look forward to that.
